Finding out I was pregnant for the 2^nd time was difficult for me. I knew I couldn’t tell my parents, they would be disappointed in me again. I remember lying on my bed, being 6 ½ months pregnant just exhausted, what was I going to do. I wanted to have an abortion.  I couldn’t have another baby. Derrick was only 9 months old when I got pregnant again and I was already struggling to support him. I was on welfare and barely getting $583.00 a month. Luckily I still lived with my parent so my bills were minimal, but there was no way I could raise two babies on welfare. I remember going down to Planned Parenthood with the intentions of having an abortion. I remember sitting in the uncomfortable chairs wondering what I was doing there. I could feel this little life inside of me, kicking me and making any position that I was sitting in very uncomfortable. The nurse called me back and asked me why I was there. I told her I was pregnant and interested in terminating the pregnancy. She did not judge me; she just gave me a smile and led me to an exam room. I remember sitting on the table wondering what I had gotten myself into, how was I going to fix this, and most importantly my parents are going to kill me if they find out I am pregnant again. The nurse came in to examined me then the words I did not want to hear came out of her mouth “I am sorry honey, but you are too far along to terminate the pregnancy.” My heart sank into my stomach, what was I going to do now.  Again, the nurse was nice and told me that it wouldn’t be to long now before the baby would be born. As I left the clinic I was disappointed, confused, and emotional on all levels. I grabbed a flyer about adoption, but I didn’t know if I could go through with it, how could I go on with living  my life knowing that I have a child out there. I drove down to the Ventura Harbor, where I had parked my car, rolled down my window and just watched people walk by and the wave’s crash amongst the jetty. I remember sitting there thinking to myself how am I going to tell my parents, are they going to kick me out, how can I fix this. I stared at the Orange Paper that had the word Adoption written all over it.